Male Point of View on Commitment

....and what takes them so long to commit?

The Gentleman's View:
by G Guillory

The definition of Commitment is as follows : 1. the act of committing. 2. the state of being committed. 3. the act of committing, pledging,or engaging oneself. 4. a pledge or promise

Some Men are afraid of Commitment. Others see it as a chance to matriculate, and become real Men. The real question is WHY? Some view it as the end of the road, a sort of being put out to pasture. Like saying "you can't hang or your too old for the game". Some just choose not or have no desire to be with one mate.

As men (some of us) we're told get a good career, find a good woman and have a family. And that sounds like a good idea at first. But then they come across friends or family members that show them how to be a player, they meet the wrong woman or get cheated on. Then they're left with a bad taste in their mouth and that's when the fear, hurt or anger sets in. Men get turned off from the thought of commitment. Others get lucky and find the right one they want to commit but tend to drag their feet. In some cases this is a fear of committing period . In others it's a fear of not being prepared or being as stable as they want to be, to be able to provide like they believe or as they have been taught they should.

This last part may sound odd but it happens in more cases than most would think. In this last case, these men want to be able to give all that their family and significant other wants and needs. In these cases not all women stick around for the "now I've got it together" man because they believe that all this could have been accomplished while in the commitment.

In my opinion, it's a story for the ages. All of the teachings that boys are taught early on come through growth and maturity. These teachings add to his willingness to commit or lack thereof...

NEW THINGS!!!

Ok so I have been gone for a little bit but I am finding it hard to maintain all of the things that interest me and the things that I have to do to live. Hope that makes sense but if it didn't sorry..lol

Luckily, I am calling on the assistance of some people that I hold very dear to my heart to be contributors to my blog and they are more than willing to help a sistah out. We are getting ready to begin a new little segment "He Say, She Say" to get the male and female point of view on a few topics. So we will not just be getting the View of the Lady but that of the Gentleman. Asking that everyone stay tuned and invite a friend. Please invite a friend to become a follower and provide feedback on the topics.

Love you all much!!!

Have you ever looked into the benefits of tea?

Next to water it is the second most consumed beverage. The neat fact about tea is that it is not only good to drink but you can use it in your hair, to soak your nails, and even your body. There are different kinds: green, black, red, white, oolong, and herbal.

Studies have shown that as little as 2 cups daily can prevent some cancers. It can also lower cholesterol levels as well as prevent blood clotting. The really question is which one will benefit you the best?

Green Tea:

• Has epigallocatechin-3-gallate (EGCG) which can possibly prevent cancer
  
• Assists in preventing heart disease
• Assists in weight loss
• Lowers cholesterol
• Lowers blood pressure
• May also reduce risks of neurological disorders such as Alzheimer's or Parkinson's
  

Black Tea:

• Assists in weight loss
• Preventing tooth decay
• Protects lungs from damage caused by exposure to cigarette smoke
• Reduce risk of stroke

Red Tea:

• Assists in strengthening teeth and bones
• Has zinc and alpha-hydroxy which are great for skin health and can help with eczema, acne, and rashes
• Has calming properties that can help with nervousness, tension, and asthma
• Also falls under the category of herbal teas (rooibos)
  

White Tea:

• Study has showed that it may have the most potent anticancer properties
• Lower in caffeine than both green and black tea
• Assists in boosting the immune system
• Assists in fighting off bacterial infections
• Helps with aging

Oolong Tea:

• Reduces heart disease
• Provide vital antioxidants
• Promote superior bone structure
• Good dental health
• Assist with inflammatory disorders

Herbal Teas:

• Have lower levels of antioxidants because they are usually combined with fruits, seed, herbs and roots in water

Also be mindful that you can use these same teas to rinse your hair with instead of rinsing and washing it with plain water. You can also combine them with your conditioners for extra conditioning power. It never hurts to soak your nails or body in a tea mixture. Just do your adequate research before beginning the process. There are plenty websites such as www.webmd.com and www.ehow.com that have more information.

Waiting

Let me first begin by saying that there is nothing wrong with waiting. Waiting shows that you have patience, it shows that you are not rushing into bad situations, it shows that you are allowing for things to take their course. Being the spiritual individual that I am when I wait allow the Man upstairs to take care of me. I believe that waiting can also mean that you are not taking things into your own hands.

There have been times when I was not looking for anyone special in my life or new friends to improve my "status" among others. By waiting you are seeing others come in and out of your life. Those who stay are meant to be there for a time or a season. Some seasons can last a lifetime. The same can be said about love or a job or even your dreams. If you just wait things will work themselves out the way there are supposed to go to best benefit you.

Now this does not mean that you don't put forth work. You must network with others so that they know what you are trying to accomplish. You go out on dates to get to know someone to see if you have things in common. You apply for jobs. You do what is necessary to put yourself in a position so that when your blessing comes you have put in the work to blossom.

I am putting forth work in my dreams. I am making things happen and waiting on everything that is for me to come to pass.

Being Seen

My saying from now on is "Dress to be seen". This doesn't mean that you have to dress trashy, wear the loudest clothes, or the tightest clothes. Keep it positive and fashion forward. This simply means dress with style and exude confidence as you pass through the crowds.

I was walking around my kids school one day and everyone was throwing out remarks about how I was looking good. I already was "high-stepping" that day but it added something to my confidence. From that point forward I have made it my mission to dress to be seen. Women young and old see you and it helps them to realize that they can achieve the same thing. I believe we truly need to bring back the style of our grandmothers and their mothers. These women did not leave their homes without their hair being combed, hats on their heads, presentable clothes on their bodies, pantyhose on their legs, and so on. Now it just seems that women don't take pride in their appearance. If you do then others want to down grade it and make it seem as if you are bougie or you think you are all that. Well you know what I AM ALL THAT!!!

Never mind what others say or how they may react. Don't dress to impress. Dress for you. Once you dress for you and in the clothes, shoes, accessories that you love it will impress others. Whether you prefer flamboyant hair, vibrant colors, jewelry that make statements make it all work for you. DRESS TO BE SEEN.

I LOVE CURLY HAIR!!

Going natural has been the best thing ever. I can get up and go. Splash with a little water, shake and I'm done. I have found this journey to be very rewarding. The picture to the left is my goal in the next couple of years. Right now I am using kinky curly on my hair and I am loving it. I will have pictures coming soon of how it is working on my hair.

Online so many people exaggerate who they really are but I don't need anyone to show up with a representative on their behalf. I need you to show up as the real you. It is easier to handle things in your friendship/relationship/partnership if you are presented with the facts ahead of time or in the beginning so that it won't be a surprise later.

Example: If you say it's complicated it probably isn't. Either you are separated, going thru a divorce, taking a hiatus, or whatever but it's truly not that complicated. Tell someone up front so that they can make a conscious choice to hang with you or not. To say you are single and then that other person pops up can cause serious hurt on both ends. #justsaying

A lot of times people are blinded by what they want to see in the other person rather than what they need to see. So many individuals get into online dating or communicating because they believe it to easy. They can be the person that others want them to be. Asking the right questions, paying close attention to the things they say to you, even engaging them in random trivia can give people the information they need to become "that someone" you are looking for in a relationship.

While we are talking about the social media, if you are in a relationship with an individual I would advise you not to be friends with your significant other unless you can handle what comes across their page. You get to a point that you begin to single in on one or more people that cross their page. Nothing could be going on but your suspicions get the best of you. Online accounts need to seriously be discussed amongst couples.

Nowadays these accounts are being used in courts to help assist in divorces, custody cases, and even terminations. People have got to make conscious decisions on what to say not only in the face of people but also online. They can even pull deleted emails and texts. Word to the wise: Stop leaving a paper trail for information you don't want to come back and bite you later.