Just stop talking

I am really not one to talk about someone badly. If I have an opinion about something then I usually tell the individual. When it comes to friends their feelings often are hurt by your words or opinions but a truly real friend will respect you for talking to them directly rather than spreading your opinion about their business around. I know there are a lot of times I don't want to hear what my friends have to say because I feel that I know most things better than anyone else. Besides who knows my situation and the way I think better than me. The truth is you never know what others have gone through, are going through, or have witnessed first hand that they don't want to witness you going through. It is all out of love.

Now as far as relationships go, KEEP YO BIZNESS TO YOSELF!!! If you are like me you have some good friends who don't have the same taste as you the opposite sex or they know how to honor the "code". The "code" is basically you don't covet thy friends woman/man or knowingly try to hook up with a former lover. There are a lot of times people are in your life and your circle because they do admire what you have and want to know how you got it or they can take it away from you. It almost becomes a test of them trying to mimic your life. Know who to share your intimate details with. My advice is if you are in a relationship the two of you should work on being each others best friend. That way you have someone you can trust holding your secrets plus if there is an issue between the two of you you can immediately put it out in the open to get it resolved.

Okay lastly stop talking about the people that "did you wrong". Whether it is a former friend, ex bff, family member, or someone you were in a relationship with it is never healthy to talk negatively about it. Yes you may be hurt by what happened, how it happened, and the result but don't dwell on it. Talk to a true confidant to air it out or vent about the situation. After you have spoken about it leave it. It's like what they tell you at church about leaving it all at the alter. Well leave it all at the dinner table, the mall, the salon, the pastor's study, or wherever you laid it all out. If you continue to talk about you will begin to have feelings of resentment or hate build up. The feelings are never healthy and they eat away at you from the inside. They fester and they hinder you from trusting people because you are certain they will do the same as those of your past. As soon as you open up to talk about the hurt immediately work on the forgiveness. You won't forget the wrong that has been done or the hurt that was done or a relationship that can not be repaired but it was allow you to experience something new that could be so meaningful in your life.